it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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