Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
