): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
