It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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