i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
