Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
