I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
