And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
