i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
