I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
