I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
