But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
