I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
