Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
