hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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