i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
