Christians are straight up FREAKS
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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