We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
