he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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