I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
