I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
