i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
