Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
