I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
