i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
