The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
