corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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