Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
