Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
