I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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