Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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