what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
