Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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