It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
