Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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