Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
