Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
