Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
