you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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