i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
