There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
