You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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