I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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