Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I didn't notice because vodka
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
