I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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