Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
