Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
