I murdered the dance floor call the cops
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
