**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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