oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
