I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
