I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
