operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize