I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dick very happy bro
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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